I keep reiterating that this is a JOURNEY. It's not a fad or a diet, it's a new way of living. So why do I get so nervous when I choose to eat an item that doesn't align with my "new way of living"? Do I think that I will so easily go back? I think deep down, I am a little worried about that. But if I really believe what I say, then I should be confident that, yeah, I may have overeaten a couple of times today, made some not-so-great choices because it sounded good, but THAT's not my norm, and it WON'T be my norm. I mean, I'm roughly 20 pounds lighter than I was 3 months ago. I can look at pictures and see a definite difference. It's funny, though, because when I was that big and saw pictures of myself, I halfway wondered who I was looking at anyway, because I was never accustomed to being that big. So, now I at least feel like I'm pretty much back to normal, even though I still want to lose another 15ish pounds.
Yesterday Jason and I decided to get some steak. (This was after shopping for new clothes since we've lost some weight.) We hadn't had any in a while, and it sounded good. So we went to a steak restaurant and both got a steak meal, along with an appetizer. I ate pretty much the whole dinner. And I felt pretty full. THEN we decided to get some ice cream. Really? I didn't need it. But it sounded good, so I didn't argue. We took it home, and I started out eating it slowly because I was so full. But I still ended up eating the WHOLE thing. Part of what was running through my mind was if I save it until tomorrow, then that's two days that I'm not eating great. I also was formulating this blog post in my mind, thinking about how much my stomach just HURT because I overate. I thought about talking about how bad the food made me feel, and was it really worth it? And, yeah, my stomach did hurt a little bit overnight, but when I woke up this morning, I really felt okay overall. Now, Sundays are my exercise rest day, so I didn't have to get up and work out, so maybe that would have been tougher. But maybe not.
I have read and experienced weight loss enough to realize that if you treat it like rules that you have to follow, you'll eventually break the rules. And sometimes in an over-the-top binge fashion. I do almost feel like I can't eat ANYTHING that isn't "clean" or I won't lose a pound this week. But that's not normal life. That's not something that I can keep up long-term, and that is just too restrictive. So I really need to rethink my mindset, and make sure that I am overall making healthy choices rather than unhealthy choices. The other thing, I know that the number on the scale can fluctuate based on things like how much water you're retaining due to sodium intake. So I also know not to focus TOO much on the actual number, although that still is a relatively good indicator of progress and what I have chosen as my weekly measure.
Anyway, this week I actually was up a pound from last week. So there it is, But I still am overall feeling good. And I'm really liking my morning workouts! (For the most part. They are a little tough at times and hard to get through.) Guess I'll just go back to those nonscale victories that I wrote about in this post. My clothes fit better, I'm getting better range of motion in my push-ups and squats, my rings are much looser, and I'm definitely proud of myself.
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